There is a rhythm, a pattern that I seem to rediscover each time we begin the journey to Africa. The blue “Purchase” button on the United Airlines website is the critical first step.  Commitment.  We will go. Ambiguous phrases such as “we are hoping” and “we intend to” or “it might work out that we go to Africa” are suddenly replaced with words that make an anxious tug every time we speak them aloud to family, friends, and colleagues: “we are going to Ghana on January 12^th”.  From that mouse click until arrive in Africa, we are preparing – our hearts, our gear, our work. Commitment.  Preparation.  Ray and the team in Ghana prepare local choirs, Bible stories, the 4×4 truck, guest houses, and local pastors.  From our side of the planet, Beth and I focus on logistics and technology, from the spare microphone to the azithromycin.

Growing up in Galesburg Illinois, surrounded by farms, prairies, and a patchwork of hardwood forests, I often dreamed of worlds far away. Heinlein and Asimov took me to planets with clever robots and blasters. I joined Heyerdahl sailing the pacific on a raft of balsa.  Wonderful stories, both imagined and true. Narratives that cracked open the possible.  Yet for me, those stories focused me on the technical – the gear, the maps, the skills required.  Read the appendix of “Through the Brazilian Wilderness” by Theodore Roosevelt if you want a meticulous, if not occasionally tedious, explanation of expedition outfitting, from the books and maps to the knives and clothes used by Roosevelt during his harrowing exploration.

Africa has taught me that the most essential preparation for the work in Ghana is my heart.  Preparation has a list.  My heart? There is no checklist.  We have spreadsheets and timelines for gear and travel.  But is my heart ready? No. Adrenaline, anxiety, and nine checked bags keep me planning and preparing.  Thoughts about work at the Lab keep the nooks and crannies of my mind racing. My narrative is still physical — an unfolding story driven by Roosevelt-style provisioning and learning.

My heart. I’m unprepared.  Time for prayer and quiet.